所有的食品评论家都讨厌卷心生菜。

all the food critics hate iceberg lettuce.

让你觉得长叶生菜降身于

you'd think romaine was descended from

俄耳甫斯的月桂花环，

orpheus's laurel wreath,

让你以为生菠菜的全部营养成分

you'd think raw spinach had all the nutritional

都归功于大力水手波派，

benefits attributed to it by popeye,

更不用说它美学的微妙之处

not to mention aesthetic subtleties worthy of

堪比魏尔伦与德彪西。

veriaine and debussy.

他们甚至会对剁碎的红包菜也垂涎三尺，

they'll even salivate over chopped red cabbage

只是为了贬低可怜的卷心生菜老先生。

just to disparage poor old mr. iceberg lettuce.

我琢磨着，问题就在于

I guess the problem is

这对他们来说太稀松平常。

it's just too common for them.

至于味道好不好，

It doesn't matter that it tastes good,

口感是否松脆得令人满意，

has a satisfying crunchy texture,

是否保持了新鲜，并且有空隙

holds its freshness

让沙拉酱渗进去，这都没关系，

and has crevices for the dressing,

而颜色更深、叶子更多的菜种

whereas the darker, leafier varieties

通常味苦、有嚼劲、缺少层次。

are often bitter, gritty, and flat.

它只是不够独特，而且

It just isn't different enough and

太他妈的美国口味了。

it's too goddamn american.

当然，批评家就是要批评；

of course a critic has to criticize;

批评家必须有话要说，

a critic has to have something to say

也许这就是为什么文评家们

perhaps that's why literary critics

声称发现那么有趣的

purport to find interesting

当代诗歌，

so much contemporary poetry

只会让我厌倦得要命。

that just bores the shit out of me.

无论如何，我真的很喜欢

at any rate, I really enjoy a salad

沙拉中有很多厚实的卷心生菜，

with plenty of chunky iceberg lettuce,

多多益善，

the more the merrier,

浸在意大利或蓝纹奶酪的调料中。

drenched in an Italian or roquefort dressing.

至于我喜欢的诗，都是

and the poems I enjoy are those I don't have

我没必要假装喜欢的。

to pretend that I'm enjoying.