我们组装银色的树,
We assemble the silver tree,
那真实生命的译本
our translated lives,
它那闪亮的树枝,
its luminous branches,
被编号以装进它的树干。
numbered to fit into its body.
然后组装它的金属树根,
place its metallic roots
来装饰我们的第一个圣诞节。
to decorate our first Christmas.
妈妈发现她一直在打开,关上那个红十字的盒子,
Mother finds herself
她将把它带到1976年,
opening, closing the Red Cross box
就像一个不想要的上门礼物,
she will carry into 1976
一个计时器,一个顽固的事实,
like an unwanted door prize,
一个流放者的徽章,测量着我们的日子,
a timepiece, a stubborn fact,
标记着我们背井离乡的时刻,
an emblem of exile measuring our days,
从此我们的生活不再井井有条。
marked by the moment of our departure,
our lives no longer arranged.
在某处,
有一张照片,
Somewhere,
一张“宝利来”妈妈都不记得曾经拍过:
there is a photograph,
我坐在组装的圣诞树下,
a Polaroid Mother cannot remember was ever taken:
在我们的第一套租住公寓,我们的新世界:
I am sitting under Tia Tere’s Christmas tree,
我的姐妹在我的旁边,
her first apartment in this, our new world:
我穿着白衣服,黑靴子,
my sisters by my side,
八岁的小孩拍照时的无可奈何;
I wear a white dress, black boots,
米儿和米子,四岁,
an eight-year-old’s resignation;
穿着红白雪花图案毛线衣,一模一样的笑容。
Mae and Mitzy, age four,
在照片上,我们的第一个圣诞,
wear red and white snowflake sweaters and identical smiles,
远离了我们。
on this, our first Christmas,
away from ourselves.
未来不真实,未来谁清楚,
妈妈将要哭着进入新年,
The future unreal, unmade,
陪伴她的是李迪娅还有爱莫托,
Mother will cry into the new year
我们楼下的老邻居,
with Lidia and Emerito,
她发现我们太小还不能明白:
our elderly downstairs neighbors,
即使地图也不能
who realize what we are too young to understand:
把你带回原先那个
Even a map cannot show youthat no longer exists.
已不存在的地方。