Down the lane winding between & behind houses, I find the cottage

沿着蜿蜒于房屋之间的小巷，我找到了那间小木屋，

I rented after I left Michael, he painted it bright yellow, decades later

那是离开迈克尔后我租的，他把它漆成亮黄色，几十年后

it’s the same color, Mike with stars of paint in his curly black hair,

它还是同样的颜色，迈克卷曲的黑发上沾着油漆的星星，

standing at the door, beer can in hand, saying, Done, saying, You sure

站在门口，拿着啤酒罐，说着，好了，说着，你确定

about this, sure as a twenty-two-year-old, he was my first lover

要这样做吗，像一个二十二岁的年轻人一样确定，他是我第一个恋人，

who I married because he asked & because of the look

我嫁给他是因为他求婚了，也因为他眼中的神情，好像没有人会更爱我，

in his eyes like no one could love me more, we kissed good-bye,

我们吻别，他身上那种甜丝丝的烟味儿，他上了他的卡车，开往科罗拉多，我走进屋里，

his smoky-sweet smell, he got into his truck, drove to Colorado, I went inside,

打开窗户，坐在单人床上，那是唯一能坐的地方，除了那张伤痕累累的桌子旁边的折叠椅，

opened the windows, sat on the twin bed, only place to sit except a folding

我在那里吃芥末三明治，在活页本上写作，读《时间与河流》，900页，

chair at the scarred table where I ate mustard sandwiches, wrote in a spiral

读完后又重新开始，深夜站在外面，蜥蜴在路灯下的小巷里乱窜，

notebook, read Of Time and the River, 900 pages, starting over again

微风中树影如水，我的影子融入其中，

when I finished, stood outside late at night, lizards darting across

那颗心年轻而又苍老。

the lane under streetlights, in the breeze the trees’ shadows watery,

mine mixed among them, the heart young & old at once.