Fate Playing泰德·休斯

命运捉弄张子清 译


Because the message somehow met a goblin,
因为消息不知怎么碰上了妖怪,
Because precedents tripped your expectations,
因为你的期待多次受过挫折,
Because your London was still a kaleidoscope
因为你的伦敦有好多的人好多的地点
Of names and places any jolt could scramble,
万花筒似的令人眼花缭乱,
You waited mistaken. The bus from the North
你就错等了地方。从北边来的汽车
Came in and emptied and I was not on it.
进了站,下完了客,我不在车上。
No matter how much you insisted
不管你怎样坚持,也许带泪哀求司机
And begged the driver, probably with tears,
让我出来,或者请他回忆是否见到我。
To produce me or to remember seeing me
只是没赶上趟。我不在车上。
Just miss getting on. I was not on it.
那是晚上八点,我消失在英国的
Eight in the evening and I was lost and at large
某个地方。你抑制了
Somewhere in England. You restrained
你充满信心的灵感,
Your confident inspiration
没有冲进行人里,
And did not dash out into the traffic
绕着维多利亚车站打圈圈,
Milling around Victoria, utterly certain
只想在我正行走的地方碰上我。
Of bumping into me where I would have to be walking.
这时我并没有行走在任何地方。
I was not walking anywhere. I was sitting
我泰然自若地坐在火车上,在车座里
Unperturbed, in my seat on the train
晃动着驶向国王十字车站。
Rocking towards King’s Cross. Somebody,
有个比你冷静的人出了一个主意。所以
Calmer than you, had a suggestion. So,
我下车时想在月台尽头的某个地方
When I got off the train, expecting to find you
见你。我看见那种焦急的神情,
Somewhere down at the root of the platform,
见一个人影拨开人流,
I saw that surge and agitation, a figure
接着露出了你炽热的面孔,
Breasting the flow of released passengers,
你炽热的双眼,发出惊喜的叫喊,
Then your molten face, your molten eyes
你挥舞手臂,泪水滚滚,
And your exclamations, your flinging arms
仿佛我是在你对着你的众神祈祷之下,
Your scattering tears
从绝无可能生还的死境里回来了。
As if I had come back from the dead
此时此地的我方知什么是奇迹。
Against every possibility, against
而你身后快活的出租车司机
Every negative but your own prayer
像一个小神似的笑着,
To your own gods. There I knew what it was
他看到一个如此美国化的美国姑娘,
To be a miracle. And behind you
看到你坐在车上狂乱的神情——
Your jolly taxi-driver, laughing, like a small god,
哭泣着,催促他,恳求他能使
To see an American girl being so American,
你如愿以偿——由于他的帮助
And to see your frenzied chariot-ride–
你完全成功了。嗯,这是一个奇迹,
Sobbing and goading him, and pleading with him
我乘的火车没有提前到达,
To make happen what you needed to happen –
甚至更早地到达,
Succeed so completely, thanks to him.
它进站迟了,正好是你
Well, it was a wonder
冲到月台上的那一刻。
That my train was not earlier, even much earlier,
这很自然,又不可思议,
That it pulled in, late, the very moment
是一个你想什么就得到什么的兆头。
You irrupted onto the platform. It was
因此你无比的绝望、惊慌穿越伦敦时的急躁
Natural and miraculous and an omen
和你此刻的狂喜,泼洒到我身上,
Confirming everything
如同放大四十九倍的爱,
You wanted confirmed. So your huge despair,
如同第一声雷后的暴雨,
Your cross-London panic dash
吞没八月里的干旱,这时
And now your triumph, splashed over me,
整个干裂的土地似乎在震动,
Like love forty-nine times magnified,
每片叶子都在颤抖,
Like the first thunder cloudburst engulfing
万物流着泪举起手臂。
The drought in August
When the whole cracked earth seems to quake
And every leaf trembles
And everything holds up its arms weeping.


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