All my life

整整一生

I was face to face

我与她

with her, at meal-times,

面对面，吃饭如此，

by the fire, even

烤火如此，甚至

in the ultimate intimacies

床帏之欢

of the bed. You could have asked,

也是如此。你也许问过

then, for information

她的一些情况？

about her? There was a room

哦，有个房间

apart she kept herself in,

她把自己关在里面，

teasing me by leading me

逗我，引我

to its glass door, only

走到玻璃门前，然而

to confront me with

我撞见的却是

my reflection. I learned from her

自己的镜像。即便这样

even so. Walking her shore

我仍向她学习。漫步在她岸边

I found things cast up

我发现了一些浮物

from her depths that spoke

来自她的深处，对我讲说

to me of another order,

另一种秩序，

worshipper as I was

因为我崇拜

of untamed nature. She fetched

未驯服的自然。她

her treasures from art’s

从艺术宝库取出

storehouse: pieces of old

自己的珍宝：几条古老的

lace, delicate as frost;

花边，精致如霜；

china from a forgotten

瓷器，记不清

period; a purse more valuable

年代；一个钱包，价值高于

than anything it could contain.

它所能装下的任何东西。

Coming in from the fields

我捧着鲜花

with my offering of flowers

从原野中走来，

I found her garden

却发现她的花园

had forestalled me in providing

已抢先为我的书案

civilities for my desk.

放上了文明之花。

‘Tell me about life,’

“跟我讲讲生命吧。”

I would say, ‘you who were

我说，“你呀

its messenger in the delivery

是它的使者，送来

of our child.’ Her eyes had a

我们的孩子。” 她双目

fine shame, remembering her privacy

含羞，以为自己的秘密

being invaded from further off than

老远就被识破，出乎

she expected. ‘Do you think

她所料。“ 你认为

death is the end?’ frivolously

死是终结吗？”

I would ask her. I recall

我愚蠢地问。现在我只记得

now the swiftness of its arrival

死神来得太快，

wrenching her lip down, and how

猛地按住她的唇，当时

the upper remained firm,

她脸上的表情依然坚定，

reticent as the bud that is

矜持，如

the precursor of the flower.

那花的骨朵。