Moving from Cheer to Joy, from Joy to All,

我走着，从兴奋到欢乐，从欢乐到极度欢乐，

I take a box

我提着一个盒子

And add it to my wild rice, my Cornish game hens.

向内面添加点野食，我的考尼什雏鸡正与母鸡嬉戏。

The slacked or shorted, basketed, identical

这松垮的、短小的、篮子样的、同一种

Food-gathering flocks

食物合成的家禽

Are selves I overlook. Wisdom, said William James,

就是我忽略了的自我。威廉 ·詹姆士说，

智慧，就是学会忽略点什么。我是智慧的，

Is learning what to overlook. And I am wise

如果那也算是智慧的话。

If that is wisdom.

可无论如何，当我从搁板上买下这一切

Yet somehow, as I buy All from these shelves

这男孩提着它放到我的行李车上时，

And the boy takes it to my station wagon,

我变成了这副模样

What I’ve become

即使闭上眼睛，我也烦恼不已。

Troubles me even if I shut my eyes.

年轻时，我痛苦、优美

When I was young and miserable and pretty

而又贫困，我渴望

And poor, I’d wish

所有女孩子渴望的东西：丈夫

What all girls wish: to have a husband,

房子和小孩。如今我老了，我的愿望

A house and children. Now that I’m old, my wish

只是一个妇人的愿望:

Is womanish:

希望这男孩把杂货放到我的车上时

That the boy putting groceries in my car

看看我。他没有看我，这让我沮丧。

See me. It bewilders me he doesn’t see me.

多年来

For so many years

我美得秀色可餐：世界看着我

I was good enough to eat: the world looked at me

嘴边淌着口水。那些陌生人的目光

And its mouth watered. How often they have undressed me,

是如何频频地剥光了我呵！

The eyes of strangers!

同时，把肉体插在我的肉体间，把卑污的想象

And, holding their flesh within my flesh, their vile

插进我的想象，

Imaginings within my imagining,

我也由此抓住了

I too have taken

生活的机会。此刻这男孩拍着我的狗

The chance of life. Now the boy pats my dog

我们开始回家。此刻我是愉快的。

And we start home. Now I am good.

那最终证实为错误的、

The last mistaken,

狂喜的、意外的福分，那盲目的

Ecstatic, accidental bliss, the blind

幸福，突然留下满手

Happiness that, bursting, leaves upon the palm

破碎的肥皂泡——

Some soap and water—

那是很久以前，可回溯起许多同性恋者

It was so long ago, back in some Gay

二十，九十，我记不得了…今天我思念起

Twenties, Nineties, I don’t know . . . Today I miss

我的放学途中的

My lovely daughter

可爱的女儿，儿子，

Away at school, my sons away at school,

以及下班的丈夫—— 我祝福他们。

My husband away at work—I wish for them.

在他们之中，狗、女仆

The dog, the maid,

和我，在家中过着安稳

And I go through the sure unvarying days

而恒常的日子。我检点我的生活，

At home in them. As I look at my life,

我唯一害怕的是

I am afraid

生活会改变，因为我正在改变：

Only that it will change, as I am changing:

今天早晨，我害怕我的脸。

I am afraid, this morning, of my face.

它带着我憎恨的眼神，

It looks at me

憎恨的微笑，从后视镜中

From the rear-view mirror, with the eyes I hate,

望着我。它刻板的、皱纹样的、

The smile I hate. Its plain, lined look

灰暗的、洞悉的表情

Of gray discovery

反复对我说：“你老了。”这就是全部，我老了。

Repeats to me: “You’re old.” That’s all, I’m old.

可我害怕，在昨天参加的

And yet I’m afraid, as I was at the funeral

一个葬礼上，

I went to yesterday.

我朋友冰冷的整过容的脸，像花丛中的花岗石。

My friend’s cold made-up face, granite among its flowers,

她赤裸的、动过手术的、被打扮过的遗体

Her undressed, operated-on, dressed body

就像是我的脸和肉身。

Were my face and body.

当我想起她时，我听见她告诉我

As I think of her and I hear her telling me

我好像很年轻；我是一个例外；

How young I seem; I am exceptional;

这使我想起我所拥有的一切。

I think of all I have.

可没有人真正是例外，

But really no one is exceptional,

没有人拥有什么，我只是其中的任何一个，

No one has anything, I’m anybody,

我站在我的墓地边

I stand beside my grave

拒斥着生活，墓地是个普通的地方且无比坚固 。

Confused with my life, that is commonplace and solitary.