1
1
总会有人谅解我的
Someone will need to forgive me for being
我行我素,偷坐回那把蓝椅子
who I am, for sneaking back to my blue chair
靠窗,在那儿过去的三百七十个日子
by the window, where for the last three hundred and seventy days
教会了我独处的好处。我假装
I have learned that to be alone is what is good for me. I am pretending
属于想要回归这个世界的人群
as if I really belong with those who want to return to this world
张开双臂,不计较它对我们到底
with open arms, even though it has done to us
都做了些什么。我希望能这样去爱,
what it has done. I wish I could love like that,
而不只一心想着转身离开。
instead of wanting to turn my back on it all,
活在这世上就像一场姻缘,
as if life in the world were a marriage
结婚太早,不得已只好放弃。
assumed too young and necessarily left behind.
无论如何我无法
Try as I might I will never become
成为这世上的又一个信徒。
one of the world’s faithful ones.
我裸露的脸和你裸露的脸,
My naked face and your naked face,
摘下口罩。三月凉薄的早上
maskless. A cold March dawn,
刺眼的阳光客观而坦诚,
harsh sunlight, impersonal and honest,
无情如外科医生的聚光灯
mindless like the light from a surgeon’s lamp
戴在头上你俯视
worn on the forehead as you peer down
伤口。重启的生命只要我
into the wound. Nothing in this new life
记住我的渺小,除此别无所求。
is asked of me except to remember how small I am.